ARE YOU HAVING A BAD TIME?
There is such an emptiness growing inside me that I will struggle even putting it into words. Simultaneously, my head is starting to get more and more full and aching. I don't understand what I read, see or hear. I'm forcing myself to reintegrate with life; so that my friends, family, and everyone around me don't understand that I'm just pretending to listen, smiling and nodding while talking to me.
Am I successful? I guess I am, because they continue without saying anything. Whereas this situation pushes me even more into loneliness. I feel like I am completely drowning in my thoughts. I listen to a song, watch a movie, read a book so that the thoughts in my head leave me alone. Despite what I hear, watch and read; I keep losing my wholeness.
I decide to write to get my feelings out because I know I am not the only one going through all this. Maybe not right now, but I know you've experienced it too. I also know we will experience it again in the future because life is full of ups and downs, sometimes dead ends.
So, are the things we see as dead ends really a blind knot that cannot be solved? A black hole that we cannot get out of? Or is it just a product of our minds? When I look back, I know that every moment I thought life stopped also ended. I also know that sooner or later I get back on track and find joy.
Reflecting on this, I remember another verse from the Quran: “Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.” This verse teaches that no matter how overwhelming a situation might feel, there is always a way for us. Every challenge comes with ease, a divine balance ensuring that we are never burdened beyond our capacity.
For such times, Allah says in the Quran: “When My servants ask thee concerning me, indeed I am near.” From this, we can understand, even though we humans can neither see nor subject Allah to any other form of sense perception this should not make us feel that God is remote from us. On the contrary, Allah is so close to each person that whenever any person so wishes he can communicate with his creator. The verse continues like this: “I hear and answer the call of the caller whenever they call me. Let them listen to my call and believe in me: That they may walk in the right way.” id est, if you are having a bad time, opening your hands and praying will be more beneficial than most other things. When you turn to Allah with all your sincerity, there will be nothing left to worry about. That’s because it is one of the best and comforting feeling to know that there is God who knows your thoughts and feelings and ask you turn to Him in time of distress as support.
Prophet Muhammad also had difficult times as a human being. During these times he prayed like this “None has the right to be worshiped but Allah the Incomparably Great, the Compassionate. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah the Rubb of the heavens, the Rubb of the earth.” This also reminds that this life is temporary and there is someone whose power is greater than the problems in life.
The Prophet also said, “The believers, in their mutual love, compassion, and sympathy, are like one body; if one part of it feels pain, the rest of the body responds with sleeplessness and fever.” This quote emphasizes the importance of seeking support from friends and family, as well as offering it. While it might feel like we are alone in our struggles, reaching out can provide comfort and help ease the loneliness.
Lastly, I would like to end the writing with a short story. I had a very precious friend from the Christian faith. He was someone who showed great submission to God. And whenever we would go out or travel as a group, my other friends and I would enter the mosque and pray when the adhan (call to prayer) was called. He also knew that we would withdraw from worldly life and spend some of our time for Allah during the day. Whenever we went to pray, I always saw sadness on his face. One day I couldn’t resist, and I said, half-jokingly, “Aren’t you jealous that we meet Allah five times a day?” He smiled silently and nodded. As I told him and as stated in the previous verse, you should know that a sincere prayer and request made for God will always be valuable.
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